This is my first post, how exciting! I don’t even know where to start. I guess I’ll start at the end. I have always been interested in blogging, but it’s never been the right time until now. I have been through several journeys. The latest is my stroke. It’s been a year and a half, and this is the hardest and the most joyful point in my life. I found, after the stroke, you really know yourself and your limitations and your challenges in life. But also, you know your liberation. It’s the liberation that sets you free.
I was at Burning Man, an art festival, sort of, in Nevada. I have been several times before, I think nine times including this last one. I was at my first one in 2008. I had a blast every time. I struggled too. I did all the things, both joyful and sad and angry, I did it all. The year before there was no Burning Man, but there was something that went on out there, and I wanted to see what it was like, without Burning Man. So I went by myself and it was awesome. I went for two days and that’s it, but it was perfect. And then in the past, I went with the art team and we built the trading post. It was hard, but in the end it was incredible. Another two or three years we went with our crew and we worked hard on our theme where we had 20 or 30 people staying with us, that was cool too. And one year we had Javi, mom and sister Jennifer, and ex-husband Javier’s mother Teresa and his cousin. That was a doozy and so fun. We went hard for everything to make this work and it did. I’ll post another time with more details about Burning Man. For now, suffice it to say it’s been a joy, and very difficult to do this Burning Man thing.
Last time, my ex-boyfriend Omar and his crew really did it up. It’s 200 people and there’s music and I was in the middle of everything. I was in the circle of elite, four or five people where we were doing all the work, it was an excellent time actually. But it’s stressful in that environment. I was glad it was all over. But I was still stressful, personal things that I won’t get into now. At one point I went into the trailer to grab some more wine, and to take a break from everything. As I am leaving to go out of the trailer, I fell down and I couldn’t get up. And I feel like I just chilled there and my dopamine went sky high. I think I laid there for 45 minutes maybe? And then Omar came in looking for me, and that’s when I went in-an-out of consciousness. Omar went to leave and go for help and I think that was another 30 minutes, and another 30 minutes to go and leave Burning Man in the airplane. And Omar, bless his heart, he borrowed somebody’s car and drove to Reno, Nevada. He also called my parents and sisters. My parents and one of my sisters Maggie were on their way already. All in all, it’s not so bad. My parents and my sisters had the worst time and obviously Omar. But people heal, Omar especially, but it’s taken a while.
And then life becomes the hardest thing I’ve had to do. But it also becomes life-giving and joyful. And now a year and a half later, I am sitting here in my apartment in Chattanooga, surrounded by my friends and family and kitty, looking out the window, wondering where my life will take me.